Updated: Mar 9, 2021
About The Show:
In this episode of Owning She, guest and Relationship Advisor Frank Rivers with "View From The Man Cave" and host Shena L. Vee talk about what men really want, is not exactly what women think it is." Frank was asked the question if he thinks if melanated (brown/black) women have lost their way, and could care less about relationships. His answers will surprise you. Are we mad at the wrong person? Are we an embarrassment to our culture, when it comes to the family dynamic? Listen as host Shena L. Vee gives advice to women about self-evaluation, and patience.
There is one thing in this universe, no matter how big anything else appears to be, nothing stands a chance against it, and that single thing is love. It is the solution; it conquers all.
So many men and women seek to be complete with someone. We aim to be honored, cherished, respected, and, most of all, understood. When we act out of love and reciprocity, what belongs, will come and most certainly stay. I've had men and women come to me and say that the other "ain't shit". If all women and men are so fucked in the head, it's impossible for us to even think about coming together, let alone be one.
I think the main factor here is self-evaluation. If we take the time to evaluate who we are, we'd be ready by the time we attempt to forge alliances and pursue longevity.
Let me tell you a story about myself and my early adulthood years. Well, it started much earlier than adulthood, but by me missing a stable father figure in my life. I learned to yearn for the companionship of men without even thinking about what was best for me. All I knew is I needed to fill this void. I asked myself so many questions, like, why didn't my dad love me? Why did he choose NOT to be more active in my life.
I asked these questions, and the answers hurt me more. Why? Because when we are wrapped up in our pain, anything that you hear is apprehended as bullshit. After years of holding on to that and at the time in my early twenties, dating for me was a big mess. Ha! I laugh about it now, but at the time, it wasn't the least bit funny. I thought that I had to do something magical to get the love of man. That's precisely what most women's problem is. They were either fatherless and or had an abusive father.
When someone is supposed to love you, protect you, show you what's out here in these streets, and they're not. Then, leave you to figure it out on your own; by default, you fall time and time again and make repeated mistakes. However, despite my daddy issues, I refused to be a victim. I said to myself, "you know what; a person doesn't define who you are. Don't give away your worthy, to the unworthy. At that point, I made finding myself a MANDATE! "
I refused to be a victim. I said to myself, "you know what; a person doesn't define who you are. Don't give away your worthy, to the unworthy. At that point, I made finding myself a MANDATE! "
I learned to love myself entirely and wholly. No one can fix you; no one owes you anything; we can't keep hold of what our parents did or didn't do. It only results in secret suffering, stress, and toxicity. So how does this tie into love? If we are still holding on to the past, there's no way to move forward. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing. Imagine letting go of all that binds your happiness, and you become a loving, understanding, logical person. Now, you have something to give.
Ladies, it's not all men. Maybe, it's just the men you run into. Who YOU are will attract that same energy.
In this episode, my guest Frank Rivers advised women to return home to their femininity, and rest in that, and the right individual will come.
It's okay to be alone. It's okay to wait. But what we have to do, is know how to treat it when we get it. There's no need to be fearful of one another. It's simple; men are owed the same respect you seek as a woman. The media and music can be our worse enemies. Find out what works for you. Be yourself. There isn't a perfect man or woman out there, but there is someone perfect for you!
Tell me your thoughts below in the comments.
Until Next Time!